More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
