It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Randomize
