WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
