You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
he was CRYING into my vagina
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
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