my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize