i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize