I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
In America we eat man semen.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
