susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
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