White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
