So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize