Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Randomize
