she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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