I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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