Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
