me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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