I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
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