What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
