I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Acid is not a monday night drug
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
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