I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
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