She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Randomize
