just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize