Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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