I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Randomize
