i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Randomize
