dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
