please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
