We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize
