508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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