Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
