His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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