stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Randomize
