You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
