Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
