My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
We're not piercing ourselves today.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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