Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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