ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
