I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Randomize
