I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
True but thats because hes a fetus.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
