I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I just forgot I was standing up.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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