oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
