Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Randomize
