You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Randomize
