He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize
