the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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