After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
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