Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Randomize
