we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Randomize
