Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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