is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
