the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Randomize
