I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
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