i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
My liver just had a heart attack.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
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