the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Found your dick twin last night
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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