Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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