erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
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