he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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