Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
