Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
