did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
