The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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