I wanna passion pit in your ass
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
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