i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
We are two peas in an std pod
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Randomize
