...so i touched it.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
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