I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
