i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Randomize
