Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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