Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
