i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
We have so much sex to catch up on
i've created a new STD.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
