so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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