So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Randomize