For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize
