Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
